This game is ma bæ. Not rly. It ruined my life.

Once upon a time...
My name is Vladimir Voglsov. I am 99.4% Swedish. I am very very rich
man. I have money. Yay. Mine day I was walking down the street (which I own) and a gentleman was playing a "game" on his phone. I had never seen one of these "games" so I asked him what it is. He said "Ya dis is good game ya called Iron Pants Ya." I replied "I WANT GAME NOW!" The man told me he would give me game if I sold my sister into slavery for him. I complied. He then gave me a toasted stroodle and walked away. I was satisfied.
I went home and played the game all day and night. After approximately 12:45am I looked into Iron pants eyes and his soul was transferred to my body. He was finally free of mobile devices and in the real world, and in the body of a supa-sexy gangsta like me. With my new power, I flew around the world but I lepton f@&$ dying. I felt disappointment, so I went to a remote island and destroyed it. But I took pity on one little monkey. I brought him back to Sweden (ya) and we decided to take over the "USA". He reproduced billions of mutated 10ft tall monkeys who could shoot fire from their eyes. We then marched to America and destroyed Washington DC. I ruled America, and with the wealth I bought Europe. I then invaded the rest of the world. I wanted more power, and I also got bored so I ordered Albert Einstein to be brought from the dead and then make me a zombie virus. After he did, he was destroyed. The zombie virus got out and infected the world. I am currently curled up in a ball hiding in a bomb shelter, OH WAIT THEYRE COMIN-!

Swedish Millionaire about Ironpants